During my training as a clairvoyant, I began understanding that all things in my experience are not necessarily my own. This is true on many levels, and learning to perceive the fine lines between myself and not-myself continues to be both challenging and rewarding. For example, I discovered that thoughts in my head are not always my thoughts. Sometimes they are thoughts from others that I am simply 'hearing' in my head. These 'others' might be my friends or family or even just spirits. At first, I found this very disturbing. I didn't want anyone else's thoughts in my head, and I sought to 'protect' myself from these foreign thoughts.

Similarly, as I developed my sensitivity to perceive and feel my emotions, I noticed that the emotions I am feeling are not always my own. Sometimes I am feeling the sadness of someone close to me, but it is not my sadness. Sometimes I am feeling angry, but it is not my anger. At times, I even feel emotions because I think the world expects me to feel a certain way. I feel guilty because I've been told I should, not because I actually feel guilt. As before, my reaction to this realization was a desire to separate myself from other's emotions. I wanted to be in control of my emotions and not be effected by the emotional patterns of others.

On a more subtle level, I started noticing the effects of other people's energy (attention, thoughts, information) on my space (physically, emotionally, and mentally). I noticed how some of my parents' challenges had become my challenges. I noticed how my opinions and beliefs were often simply mirroring the opinions and beliefs of others rather than being genuinely my own. Even my relationship choices were greatly effected by those around me. Was I in my current relationship because of my desires or her desires? Or was I in it because my family, friends, and society thought I should be? What outside influences led me to my job and career? Was it even something I wanted to do, or was I simply the effect of the world around me?

The more I noticed the effects of other people on my life, the more I wanted to separate from them. I wanted to draw a definitive line between my energy and other energies. I perceived the influence of others as an intrusion, and I thought I would be happier if I could separate from them. I wanted to clear my space of all energy from others and clear my energy from everyone else's space. I wanted to be in control of my space and my experience. This became a prime directive in my life, and after years of practice I prided myself on my ability to quickly detach from others. As soon as I noticed someone else's energy in my space or my energy in someone else's space, I cleaned it up. I had a heightened awareness of my affect on others and their affect on me, and I tried to minimize these effects.

About a year ago, however, I began to question my decision to be separate. I was pleased at my abilities, and I felt more in control of my life, but my insistence on separation was making me feel more lonely than happy. Although I had close relationships, even my closest ones were kept at arm's length. Life was beginning to feel somewhat academic and sterile. Although I was adept at creating and separating from situations and relationships, it all felt a little meaningless.

As I reconsidered my perspective on separation, I started to change my behavior. Today, when I notice someone else's energy or attention on me, I observe and communicate with it instead of automatically rejecting it. When I notice my own attention on someone else, I let it be ok instead of rigorously pulling it back. The results have been fascinating. I've found that instead of being intrusive, there is a subtle intelligence behind these interactions. The thoughts, emotions, and information from others often times hold answers to the questions I have about my life. And, allowing my thoughts and emotions to be with someone else can help them understand things I'm unable to communicate verbally.

Simply put, I'm realizing that the exchange of energy with others, be it through words, touch, sight, thoughts, or emotions is normal, healthy communication. How I respond to this communication is up to me. As I use my clairvoyant abilities to improve communication rather than stifle it, I've been rewarded with a much richer and enjoyable life. The loneliness I was feeling has faded, and life has begun to move more quickly. Being available for more communication has helped situations that once felt stuck to start flowing effortlessly. Rather than seeking to control my life, I'm spending more time enjoying the surprises it brings. It is still useful to know how to be separate, but I choose to be so less and less frequently. And with these choices, a pleasant feeling of connectedness and oneness is developing. Perhaps we are meant to be in communication after all!